news

This is the
churches' news-sheet
for
29 October 2008

From the Manse

By the time you read this month's newsletter, we shall all know whether or not there has been a Big Bang. Now, I'm not talking about the day that I left the vestry door open on a windy day, resulting in an unholy clatter that shook the whole church! Mind you, even that could have just been a sign of a 'quantum fluctuation'. This has been described as everything that happens having a cause - for example, stone flying through the air towards a window - followed by effect of window shattering which becomes cause of next effect - boy sent to bed! From this you may be as confused as I am, especially while the world of physics moves on(!) With an attempt to re-create the beginning of the world as we know it. Confused? You're not alone.

The Large Hadron Collider experiment is under way which, perhaps early next year, may (or may not) result in scientific advances. Personally, it would be my priority if the vast sums of money that have gone into this experiment could have been better used to benefit the millions of people who are still struggling to find food, water and shelter, but you would expect me to say that! Russell Stannard, an eminent and former Professor of Physics at the Open University and an Anglican Lay Reader, has been involved in public and broadcast debates with the renowned Physicist Dr Richard Dawkins who is an avowed athiest. For all their academia and doubtless interest in the boundaries of science, they agree, however, in affirming the dignity of human beings against the tendency to regard humans as merely a form of evolved animal. As for the 'Big Bang'? Christians already have the answer -

"In the beginning God...."

Why not pick up a Bible and refresh your memory of the Creation story. You know, it has a striking similarity to scientific theory and conjecture. Now, there's a funny thing!

God Bless you and yours. Duncan

Parish Register

Death

We extend our condolences to members of the family.

11th September Mrs B I McKenzie, Inverness (formerly Burghead)

Sunday Services - Scripture Readings

A NEW list of Bible Readings for each of the services for the next three m onths is on the Notice Board at the church entrance. Anyone who would like to read a lesson during the service, please append your name to the sheet.

Services

Harvest Thanksgiving will be held in Burghead on Sunday, 12th October.

A joint Communion Service will be held at Burghead on Sunday, 19th October.

An Apocryphal Tale?

Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all the bickering. Finally, God said, I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job." So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. They faxed. They e-mailed. They e-mailed with attachments. They downloaded. They did spreadsheets! They wrote reports. They created labels and cards, charts and graphs. They did every job known to man. Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency ...and Satan was faster than hell. Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, and, of course, the power went off. Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld Jesus just sighed. Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming: "It's all GONE! I lost everything when the power went out!" Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work. Satan observed this and became irate. "Wait!" he screamed. "That's not fair! He cheated! How come he has all his work and I don't have any?" God just shrugged and said, "JESUS SAVES"

Guild News

Burghead

Tuesday 14th October - Bread of Life with Sue Gault

Sunday, 19th October - Dedication Service

Saturday, 25th October - Coffee Morning - 10.00 to 12 noon

Tuesday, 28th October - The Orient Express with R & K Gauld

The Thursday club for P4 to P7 starts on Thursday 18th September from 6 .00 to 7.30 pm in the Church hall. It will be held every other Thursday. Please spread the word to your young friends and relations. Contact Ruth (01343 835 946) if you would like to help at any time and in any way.

Blythswood

The monthly collection will be on Tuesday, 21st October. Please ensure that no bags are left until the day or the night before the collection.

Blythswood Care:Shoe Box Appeal for Christmas

This year's collection is at Burghead Church of Scotland, 1.00 - 1.30 pm on 23rd September and 21st October
Details on Church News Sheet or see news page for September 2007 which varies only slightly from 2008 version.